My Life Is Unfortunate

The personal collection of Mr. Phillips.

Today, I moved into a house that was decorated with apple cores and a lion head. MLIU

Today, I realized that I myself can’t tell if I am a man or a woman. MLIU

Thanks a lot, new followers! And everyone give a huge round of applause to piniyopo for taking our Tumblr-virginity from us!

That’s not to say you should be happy, however.

Don’t forget that you can send your own miserable suggestions to: unfortunance@aol.com. I can’t say you’ll be happy doing it, though.

Today, I got a new job at a school as a gym teacher. I wear a turban. I was persecuted for my religious beliefs. MLIU

Today, I had an epiphany, a phrase which here means “I suddenly realized”, that I work at a restaurant called The Anxious Clown. MLIU

Today, I was paid. In coupons. MLIU

Today, a lamp unexpectedly fell out of a window and hit me in the head. MLIU

Today, I considered making a different website called My Life Is Fortunate, seeing as I’m an optimist and all. But I’ve got too much debarking to do. MLIU (but I’m still content)